You really coming over, don't trick.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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