Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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