Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
