Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
love makes seman taste better
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There r osticjed everywhere
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
