i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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