Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
