just tell him i said nine months
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
