One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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