Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
