my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
operation harelip BJ is a go
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
