Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
