I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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