I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
