I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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