Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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