I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize