saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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