I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
