dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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