So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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