Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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