I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
