Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
