David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my being single is dangerous.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
