They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well I just put wine in my tea
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
