Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
