I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
