When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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