I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
