just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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