The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize