Whoa Z and x make the same sound
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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