What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
