i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
