I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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