stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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