never play flip cup with pint glasses
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
