you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Randomize
