I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
