You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
