My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
