I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
oh god the rape fog is back!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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