So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
