erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
