LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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