Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
