RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
