Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
