I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
