I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
