I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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