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so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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