Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
