Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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