life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
