gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
