Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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