We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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