I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize