im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
