Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
